Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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