he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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