i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
