Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
no you cant smoke seaweed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
