That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
