So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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