i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
