and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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