Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
