and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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