im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
