Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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