So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
