Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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