I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
