some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize