I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
