there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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