I think i peed on brittanys purse
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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