I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
