I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
