Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
