apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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