I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize