Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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