I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
