then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
