well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
