it wasn't lemon gatorade
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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