This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
