my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
