I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
