wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize