but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
