when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
