i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
