I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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