I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
