Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
