i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
