This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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