i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
