Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
