Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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