I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We're too hungover to prance.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
