She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
