you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
