dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
