If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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