I showed him my bush... on skype.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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