Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
