is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
