Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
