Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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