thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I could fuck to npr.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
