actually, I'm a sock model
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
