She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
