could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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