I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
