Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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