y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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