if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
