Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
what day is it and did you see me today?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
