I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
