So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
