She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
