I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
