Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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